Superstars that piss us off
by Mrs.James Marsters
Summary: Basically it's just a list of superstars that piss us off and what we will do about it. Chapter 3 now up!
1. Default Chapter

Superstars that piss us off.  
  
Well, here are my ideas for the story. I decided to let the following people be my helpers:  
  
Sean O'Haire, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Spike, Goldberg, Iccess herself, HHH and Shawn Michaels, u can add in the munchkins if u want.  
  
Now, the following people are who I want to torture: (how about 4 people per chapter)  
  
Bishoff 2) Rico 3) 3 minute Warning 4) Vince 5) Big Show 6) Jericho 7) Christian 8) A-Train 9) Team Angle and finally 10) John Cena. As for the girls, all I am gonna pick on is 1) Molly Holly 2) Jazz 3) Dawn Marie and 4) Nidia. (U have claims on anyone else u would like to torture)  
  
Well, I was thinking of calling the first chapter Piper's House, since that is where it will be taking place. Oh yeah, I am collaborating with iccess America, by the way)  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Hello and welcome to my show. Today's guests will be: Jericho, Christian, Rico, and finally John Cena.  
  
Jericho: Why do u guys always pick on me?  
  
Iccess: Because we can. We have that right as an authoress.  
  
Jericho: I still say it's unfair.  
  
Spike: The only thing unfair is how they allowed a punk like u to become a wrestler.  
  
Jericho: (Glares) I am the greatest WWE Champion in the world.  
  
Iccess: Shawn, go sic him.  
  
(Ahem, Jericho can be punished by Iccess in the next chapter)  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Next on the list is Christian.  
  
Spike: Ooohh.look at that guy with his nice, new haircut and fancy clothes. God, people like him make me sick.  
  
Christian: Hey, u forgot to mention my new shades.  
  
HHH: (Sarcastically) Oh sorry, how could we forget his new, expensive shades?  
  
Christian: Yeah, they are cool, aren't they?  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: (Shakes her head) U know what? U are a disgrace to the WWE. Goldberg, go sic him. Oh by the way, U and Jericho are both fired!!!  
  
(Goldberg chases after Christian) (U can kill him too.) I have fun torturing them.  
  
Iccess: Next up is Rico. (Brings in Rico) (Why bring in more men? I just got rid of two people I hate, for god's sakes.)  
  
Spike: Hey, I remember u? Aren't u supposedly dating Bishoff?  
  
Rico: No. As a matter of fact, I was shagging Sable backstage. (I like Sable. She is cool)  
  
Spike: u dare corrupt Sable!!!!? HHH, sic him. (Damnit, I am running out of wrestlers. Oh wait, I will let O'Haire take care of Bishoff)  
  
(U can let HHH kill him off. I better not touch him, or u might kill me)  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: now for my last guest, it will be Bishoff.  
  
HermioneLilyPotter: (She is my best friend) Hey wait, can I say something to Bishoff first?  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Yeah all right, but make it quick. U weren't even supposed to be in this fic.  
  
HermioneLilyPotter: Bishoff, u will always be an asshole to me, and I hope Sean kicks ur ass from here to kingdom come.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: is that what u really want?  
  
HermioneLilyPotter: oh absolutely.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: (Frowns) Eh, what do u think Iccess?  
  
Iccess: Kill him. The world will be a better place without him.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: All right. U heard em, Bishoff. Go sic em, Sean.  
  
(Wait I get to at least torture Bishoff)  
  
Bishoff: (on his knees) Please, I will be good from now on.  
  
Sean: By order of Mrs. James Marsters, U are fired. (He then drop-kicks him intop an ocean filled with live sharks)  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Now I am well rested and ready to see what Iccess has to say. Let me know if any changes should be made.  
  
See you when u tell me how it was. Bye bye for now, Ashley. 


	2. Victoria's Transformation

Chapter 2: Victoria's Transformation (Being written by Iccess-america)  
  
* = thoughts  
  
Iccess is bored and is trying to think of a new episode plot for the show.  
  
Iccess: Who is pissing me off today? Let's see........  
  
*3 minute warning - annoying but not good enough  
  
La Resistance - I have nothing against the French, but THEIR NOT FRENCH! Can't they be arrested for that? In France I heard that's the equivalent of impersonating a cop.  
  
Stephen Richards- I feel sorry for the guy because he's literally whipped. It's a sad, sad, thing. I mean Victoria is a psycho.........*  
  
Iccess: Wait, that's it! I'll torture Victoria. But how will I do that? [Spends a few minutes pondering this] I'll ask Mrs. James Marsters.  
  
Iccess looks at the clock which reads 5:30 p.m.  
  
Iccess: That can't be right. Daylight Savings is over and it's not light out. [Hits the clock] 2:30 a.m.?! I need some sleep. I'll call Layna and Adrian and tell them to arrange to kidnap my latest victim.  
  
9:00 the next morning.....................  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: You better have a VERY good reason for dragging me out of bed at 9 o'clock in the morning Iccess.  
  
Iccess: Be thankful, I was considering waking you up 6 and a half hours ago, but I didn't feel like being murdered that early.  
  
They enter the set of 'Superstars'.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Okay, what was this you wanted to show me?  
  
Iccess: Patience is a virtue.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: A quality I don't possess.  
  
Iccess: Layna! Adrian! Bring it in.  
  
Layna and Adrian roll in a steel cage. Grunts and snarls can be heard from inside.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: What did you catch, a rabid Emu?  
  
Iccess: Something 10 times more dangerous.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: You don't have a scratch on you.  
  
Iccess: Who said that I went out and caught it? Layna.....uh correction Adrian did all the work.  
  
Adrian has bloody cuts all over him and a black eye. He passes out and consequently slips into a coma.  
  
Iccess: Darn, now who will work the camera?  
  
Hunter: I will!  
  
Iccess: Okay! Go and sedate the victim.  
  
Hunter: What do I use?  
  
Iccess: Since I don't want you to get hurt and knock yourself out with the needle you get to use the gas gun.  
  
Hunter sprays whatever is in the cage with sleeping gas.  
  
Iccess: Thank you. And now, for the unveiling.  
  
A curtain is pulled back to reveal a sleeping Victoria.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Aw, she looks a little less demonic when she's sleeping. [Worried] What are you going to do with her?  
  
Iccess: All shall be revealed in due time my friend; meaning a couple of hours. This is going to be a documentary show!  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: We're not using the studio?  
  
Iccess: I'm afraid not.  
  
2 hours later.........................  
  
Hunter: We roll in 3...2.....1..... And action.  
  
Iccess: [faces the camera] I'm Iccess-america and this is my co-host Mrs. James Marsters [cut to Mrs. James Marsters].  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Welcome to 'Superstars that Piss us off' where we well, say which superstars piss us off and what we're going to do about it. Today's episode is an on location documentary series where we will have only one guess [looks disappointed]  
  
Iccess: That's right. It was my turn to come up with an idea so if you don't know my style by now that means no arbitrary, random, illogical, or subjective murders. I just scar them emotionally and irreversibly for life. Amazingly, I find it VERY satisfying. Who's the poor unlucky soul we're traumatizing today? Victoria!  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: What are we going to do with her? Good question, because that's what I want to know.  
  
Iccess: Well what we're going to do is make her into a slightly different version of everyone's favorite diva, Trish Stratus.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: I'm going to show a slight bit of concern and say, do you have a death wish? After this she is going to hunt you down and take pleasure in devouring your flesh.  
  
Iccess: A little gory are we?  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: It's the truth.  
  
Iccess: Okay we figured we'd start small and work our way up. So, Rico, who we've also taken hostage, has agreed to dye Vikki's hair blonde.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Vikki?  
  
Iccess: I've given her a new name. Of course we've taken the liberty of sedating her using anesthesia throughout the process. We didn't use very much considering excessive usage can cause permanent nerve damage or like any other drug, addiction.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: You know you just sounded like a PSA.  
  
Iccess: Fully aware, but it's the truth.  
  
Rico: Okay, I dyed her hair, now where is the number you promised me?  
  
Iccess: [hands Rico a piece of paper] here, now leave me alone.  
  
Rico: [cowers away]  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Whose number did you give him?  
  
Iccess: Versace's.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: THE Versace?  
  
Iccess: No, Versace car detailing. ^_^ Next stop our local plastic surgeon.  
  
As you all can imagine I'm becoming incredibly lazy as of late between updating other thing and therefore I shall spare you the gory details and let's just say Victoria came out looking human but a little bit less than Trish Stratus.  
  
Iccess: As you know, we couldn't set Vikki free looking like Trish Stratus and still acting like herself. Therefore we took the liberty of hiring her personality designer who will....... coordinate her personality.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: You're on a power trip.  
  
Iccess: You're just noticing? Besides I think it's your turn to write the end result, fair enough?  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Sure  
  
TBC 


	3. The result?

Chapter Three: The Result?  
  
I swear this is the third time I have written this. Oh well, if you expect me to be nice to Victoria, you got another thing coming. Now, back to the story.  
  
(At Iccess's laboratory)  
  
Victoria: Please have mercy on me?  
  
Spike: (The Vampire from Buffy) (He is filling in for me on account that I am sick. Sirius Black is my secretary since I fired HermioneWeasleyPotter, but she will be back in my next story as will Iccess) You really expect the boss to have mercy on you, of all people?  
  
Victoria: What did I ever do to you?  
  
Sirius: (Comes into my office and sees Victoria) Well, besides stripping people of their titles: just for being an overall Bitch!  
  
Iccess: Hey, isn't he dead, both of them?  
  
Spike: She says that this is the world of fanfiction. We can bring in anybody we please.  
  
Iccess: Good point. So, shall I take her backstage and do a make-over on her now?  
  
Spike: Yeah, you better go do that before Ashley has our asses. (Not that I'd mind having their asses, but that's another story.)  
  
Sirius: I better get back to work before she finds out.  
  
Spike: She says no slackers allowed in here. You have five seconds to get back to work, or else, lover or not she will sack you.  
  
(This is what tough love is all about)  
  
(After an hour or so, Iccess comes back out)  
  
Iccess: Well, I did the make-over, with Ash's instructions)  
  
Spike: Cool. I hope she is not too horrific-looking.  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: (I am finally better) O.K. Spike sweetie, you can go  
see Buffy (I am a big Spike/Buffy. I also am a Ron/Hermione, Ron/Draco,  
Harry/Draco, and a Harry/Ron. I also like an occasional Spike/Angelus.  
  
Spike: Are you sure, luv?  
  
Mrs. James Marsters: Yeah. I have Sirius here. Go on. (I am having an  
affair with Spike, but I am married to Sirius according to my friends.  
Think you can get that?)  
  
Spike: O.K. See you later.  
  
(Goes out the door)  
  
Iccess: So, what was wrong with you?  
  
Ash: (I will be ash from now on) I was sick with the flu. (Untrue in real- life)  
  
Iccess: Yeah. How did you get the flu?  
  
Ash: Norma was sick with it first and I went to her house that day. (I did go to her house though)  
  
Iccess: Ah, o.k. Let's go see how your little pet is doing?  
  
Ash: Good idea.  
  
(We then go back stage to see how Victoria is doing.)  
  
Ash: (Looks at her) WOW!  
  
Iccess: Steven will love you all the more, Vicky.  
  
Steven: (Come sin) Wow! You look hideous. What did they do to you honey?  
  
Victoria: I have no clue how I turned out. Why? Is it that bad?  
  
Steven: You look like the female version of mankind.  
  
(Awww.now where is that different from how she looks every day?)  
  
Victoria: See? I told you he wouldn't love me any more)  
  
(Runs out of the laboratory)  
  
Steven: Nice job, you guys.  
  
Sirius: They don't like you either so I suggest you leave now also.  
  
Steven: Gotcha. (He then runs away)  
  
Ash: Sirius, why'd you do that for? Now I cant torture him any more?  
  
Iccess: Ummm.one torture per chapter, ash.  
  
Ash: oh yeah, I forgot. So, wanna go have a beer now?  
  
Sirius: I'd love for a beer.  
  
Ash: O.K. You can take off just this once.  
  
(So, if you need us all we will be at the bar having beers. Your turn to write the next chapter, Iccess. How about we torture Vince McMahon now? We haven't done anything to him in all of our stories and he deserves to be punished for abusing all the power he has. See you when you post this chapter, Iccess)  
  
Ya know something Iccess? I haven't been posting in a while. Do you really think I should continue? I never really had any good ideas, except for a song-fics, but no body likes them. I think I should retire. I will still do the Harry Potter story with you guys and then I think it is time for me to officially retire. Good-bye fanfiction. I will miss you all.  
  
Oh yeah and for the record, Victoria looks like the female version of Mankind. If you haven't seen mankind, all I can say is she is pretty damn hideous!!! 


End file.
